First off, he has never done anything outwardly harmful to either me or my wife. We also enjoy his company very much both for and despite the following events. That being said, I’ve known him for a year and he does some of the weirdest shit I’ve experienced.
I actually like him for all of his quirks. He’s clearly smart and capable, but then again so was Ted Bundy so I’m not the best judge of character. Here’s a short list of my favourite moments witnessed by me or told to me by my wife.
On holiday in a small camp by a lake I wake up to him howling native American chants and bird calls. On his own. By the water.
To nobody. At 8am. He’s white.
At dinner I asked another relative if frogs are farmed for their legs or wild caught. Carmichael (fake name) took this as an opportunity to speak at length about Vietnamese frog farms. Lasted a good ten minutes of unbroken dialogue explaining that the frogs taste like shit because they feed them literal shit.
The whole thing was bizarre and surprisingly not racist. He bought a new leaf blower. It’s summer.
I hear it at least 5 times a day. We aren’t near any trees and his deck is at most 12ft x 6ft. I have no idea what he’s blowing.
None of us do. My wife was hanging out with her other uncle in his cabin. Carmichael lets himself in, walks past them without a word and goes into the bathroom.
What happened next changed everything…
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