give them acorns, corn, kitchen scraps, things like that. Why?”
“Because I’m from the Animal Protection Association, and you shouldn’t feed them garbage. That’s inhumane!”
With that, he fined the farmer a hefty sum.
A few days later, another official arrived and asked the exact same question.
The wary farmer replied, “Well, I feed them very well. I give them fresh salmon, imported caviar, jumbo shrimp, and prime steak. Why do you ask?”
“Because I’m from the United Nations, and I think it’s an absolute outrage that you feed your pigs like royalty when millions of humans are dying with nothing to eat!”
And just like that, he fined the farmer too.
A few days after that, a third man walked up to the fence and asked the same question.
The exhausted and hesitant farmer thought for a long moment, shrugged, and answered: “Well, I just walk out there every morning and hand five dollars to each pig so they can go buy whatever they want.”
—
### The Three Little Pigs Go to Dinner
Three Little Pigs went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner one night.
The waiter walked up to their table with a notepad and a smile to take their drink orders.
“I’ll have a Sprite,” said the first little piggy.
“I’ll take a Coke,” said the second little piggy.
“I want water—lots and lots of water, please,” said the third little piggy.
The waiter nodded, jotted it down, brought out the round of drinks, and returned to the table to ask for their dinner orders.
The first piggy looked at the menu and said, “I think I’ll have the roast beef.”
The second piggy said, “I’ll take the pork chops.”
The third piggy closed his menu, looked up at the waiter, and said, “I’ll just have a salad.”
The waiter raised an eyebrow in surprise, looking down at the massive amount of water on the table and the light meal. “Just a salad? With all that water?”
The third little piggy sighed and patted his belly. “Well, yeah… somebody’s gotta stay behind to build the brick house!”
