I couldn’t escape the replay: my voice, the sharpness of that single word, the small flicker in her eyes before she shut the door behind them. I had always treated her strength like a guarantee, mistaking reliability for immunity.
She cooked, she planned,
she remembered birthdays and doctor’s appointments, smoothed over conflicts
before they ever had a name. I thought that meant she didn’t need gentleness directed at her.
I was wrong.
When I finally approached her, I didn’t come armed with justifications. I came with the admission that I had been careless with the person who had been careful with me for years. I described the ways I’d overlooked her effort, how I’d reduced her to a role instead of seeing her as a person.
She didn’t rush to absolve me.
She simply listened, exhausted. In that quiet, I understood: love without respect is just dependency dressed up as devotion.
She hadn’t become distant; I had finally noticed the distance my neglect had created.
