had to ask their parents to keep perfume away from them. 8-year-old: No, I was busy. Me: With what?
8: Putting it off. © XplodingUnicorn / Twitter
He was using a small piece of cardboard to push a spider in the direction of the bathtub — talking to the spider the entire time. ”
“Excuse me, sir. Pardon me, sir, can I invite you to perhaps travel this way?
Oh, no, not that way, sir. Over here, sir. Pardon me, sir, I don’t feel you’re listening…” © chickaboomba / Reddit
— Mom, is it true that every child has a father?
— Yes. — Then why do we have 3 children and only one father? — Dad, how much is 2 + 3?
— You can count it yourself. — I can’t. — Why not?
— I’m wearing mittens. Today, I got back from work, and my 10-year-old son says,
“Mom said you’re not my father, and she’s leaving us.”
I’m calling my wife, she’s unavailable. There is no dinner, and there is a bag full of clothes standing next to the door.
I’m sitting almost in tears. Suddenly, my wife returns. It turns out that she was at the parents’ meeting at the daycare for our daughter, the clothes in the bag were for charity, and she didn’t cook dinner because the power was out.
Our son told her that she wasn’t his mom after watching some movie, and my wife replied that if this was so, then I was also not his father. And after that, she left, offended. Me: No, they have fur.
7-year-old: Then aren’t they hot in the summer? Me: Maybe. 7-year-old: We should build a squirrel pool. © XplodingUnicorn / Twitter
